2015-04-29

Grief And The Blame Game


"You can't place blame in hindsight like that, when you didn't know, you couldn't know and we may never know why it happened..." ~ Cy Zentzis, Childhood Cancer Angel, 2015

Any time we experience something negative or challenging we all have a tenancy to want to blame someone for it. If they hadn't done it then I would not be experiencing sadness, frustration, anger or confusion.  Even if it is to blame ourselves....fault must be placed somewhere. It keeps things in order, you in control and justice prevails, right?! Wrong. Sometime we must accept that there are times that there is no one to blame, no one did anything wrong or is out to get us. Sometimes we have to accept that shit just happened and then figure out what to do with the pile. Easier said than done with spilled milk but when you are talking about the dealing with these challenges in the context of a loss of a loved one, we enter into a whole knew realm of finger pointing.

 Continue Reading

2015-04-19

Why Your Past Hobbies Help Heal Your Grief


"I'm just someone who likes cooking and for whom sharing food is a form of expression."  ~ Maya Angelou

Long before I knew I would be facing this thing called grief, I liked to cook. I was never the type to follow a recipe, rather I was an experimental chef.  Living on a budget with two young children meant you were creative with your limited pantry. I enjoyed the challenge and thought myself pretty good at it too. I especially enjoyed cooking for guests and happy to see their bellies full. Feeding people was a love language of mine. A way to show you care. A form of comfort and hospitality.

Continue Reading.

2015-04-03

Surviving Seasons Of Grief, Holidays And Anniversaries


"The feat of surviving is directly related to the capacity of the survivor." ~ Claire Cameron

I feel like I have a hangover.  My body aches, I am slightly bitchy, exhausted and ready for recovery. The past three and a half months have once again taken their toll and I am grateful that I once again have survived it.   Each year, as for most grievers, is experienced differently.  I have yet to decide if the dynamics of my circumstances are a blessing or a curse but never-the-less, they are what they are and they are mine to figure out how to deal with.