Everything happens for a reason....really?

"But if I've heard this saying once, I've heard it a thousand times - Everything happens for a reason. And possibly it does. I just haven't found the reason that this all happened yet." - Jerry Lawler

Everything happens for a reason....really?  How often do we hear that saying, say it ourselves, believe it as the only justification for our life's events.  Good or bad.  But is it possible that somethings just happen?  It is possible that there is no reason anything happens?  It is possible that we are left to seek out the reason? Whether to make sense of the senseless, give credit to the blessings, to justify karma or to sooth our weary souls.  Is it possible that the reason exists only after everything happens and not before it. Is it our duty to discover the reason?  Maybe that is the meaning of life.


Hope And Hope Again.

"Everything that is done in the world is done by hope."  Martin Luther

When I began this blog it was for me to reflect on the journey that I was, against my free will, forced on.  Where the CaringBridge blog acted as a play by play of our medical journey, Hope In The Storm would offer me a chance to dig into my feeling and sort out my own understandings or frustrations as to what I  was encountering as a single parent with a child battling cancer.

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The Marathon and Me

With just a few hours left, I impulsively made a promise to my son.  One that I had no idea if I could keep. Ultimately, I am not sure the exact reason I would make such a promise.  Even as I said it, part of me was thinking...."This is way out in left field. Can you even do this?" but it was big and I guess at the moment, when I could do nothing else, I needed it to be big. I will never know for sure if my brave 11 year old boy heard my tear soaked promise made in the twilight of his short life but I had heard it and knew that it was promise that I would have to keep.  A few short hours later on that early February 16th morning in 2011, when most Portlanders were sleeping in there safe comfortable beds, I watch in disbelief as the seemingly impossible happened and Tucker took his last breath on earth.