2011-03-03

True North

There is a sadness that covers me, like wet clothes, heavy and cold. The days drag by so slowly. I feel lost without Tucker. All this time I was trying so hard to take care of him and keep him safe. I never realized how much he was my true north. Without him I feel like I am wandering through each day. Part of me still hopes that I will find him and the other more reasonable half knows that I will not.  I miss him more than I could possibly say in these words. He was not only my son but my best friends and greatest teacher.  It just is so unfair that a light like his was snuffed out.



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4 comments:

  1. What a beautiful tribute to your boy, I"ve seen him through your eyes. My mother heart goes out to you in your grief and all that you have so unfairy lost.

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  2. T ransported to heaven
    U nder God's wing
    C arefree and happy
    K indness abounds
    E verlasting life is mine
    R enewed,refreshed and feel'n fine

    Chris,Jen,Cody,and Brady!
    Sending love,blessings,and prayers to all of you.
    Aunt Linda

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  3. You're an amazing mom - the kind that raises a brave child! I followed Tucker's story on Caring Bridge and loved his personality, not to mention that he's super good looking. I also shared it with my son, who's also 11 (May 21 99). I just realized by seeing his birthdate, that they were almost the same age...

    I also admired and was in awe of his decision to not continue treatment, particularly dialysis. Only a true brave person has the capacity to think that way. I was happy to see that his wish was granted and you all got to spend some quality time together and see him smile.

    I wish there was something I could say or do that would ease your pain but, sadly, I can't. I pray that you find some solace and comfort knowing what a wonderful boy Tucker was, and how many hearts he touched!

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  4. At times like these my heart goes out for you even more. Having gone through it all myself a month ago I only pray that you may find comfort in knowing that God Almighty is looking after him now. He keeps us all safe and although the future will be hard and the road long, remember that Tucker and God is walking with you. You are in my prayers, your story in my heart and my thoughts go out to you.

    Keep well and never lose faith.

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